The Awkward Moment When….


The English language will probably continue to elude me, particularly when it comes to not being able to express a complete thought in few words. I guess the best example of this is when you tell someone that you are moving. It is always someone who you run into either randomly or someone who you see on a consistent basis but do not really get into in-depth conversation with. Example 1: A friend who you see in a restaurant that didn’t know you were back from China much less moving to South Korea. Example 2: The people at the gym who you see every morning but don’t have any relationship with outside of the gym (be them the nice people that they most certainly are in real life).

There is always the awkward moment when people find out and only one response (based on my sample demographics):

Them: Good morning/Hey/How are you/etc?

Me: I’m good. Hey… so did I tell you yet I’m moving?

Them: You are?!? Where?

Me: South Korea.

Them: WHY?!?!? 

Insert the awkward moment when they ask “Why?!!” and you don’t have enough virtuosity to explain it in one sentence so you just stand there trying to placate them with a reasonable response and then after 20 seconds have gone buy you just say “Oh, because I got a job there. But don’t worry, I’ll be back here for all of July.” 

There are plenty of things I can and want to say in those 20 seconds but then I’d have to start talking really fast and  then everyone trying to talk to me would be really be scratching their heads. So I decided to blog about it. Here are just a few but not all of the reasons. 

1. God. Some of my friends believe in God and some don’t. I do. I passionately love Jesus and I want to do whatever He has called for me to do. I have a personality that doesn’t mind dropping everything in one place so that I can serve others in another place. This island has a lot of chances for ministry, especially to TCKs. I dig that. I love it. Yes, I have to leave the ministry opportunities that I am doing here in Cleveland but I will pick those back up when I come back. I don’t believe I should live in anyplace without serving in at least one outlet. So this had an outlet as well as a job. Sounded good to me. No, I don’t have any clear cut “calling” so to speak to this little island (I mean I didn’t even know it existed until January of this year) like I did with China but I do believe if I am serving HIm that others will be blessed. And I will be blessed by those whom I serve more than I could ever bless them. And I love Asia. Hands down, must come from some other source than myself, LOVE the people of East Asia. 

2. Money. It might seem unChristian like to take a job based on money. You might be reading this and start judging me, saying that it is not right for me to take a job with money as a factor. I’m not really one of those prosperity Gospel people, but I don’t like being poor either. I work hard. I earn money. It would be really nice to pay off all the remainder of my debt (student loans from undergrad) and then put some money towards a house and save for the adoption I have wanted since I was a little girl. So, instead of living in the States and really really struggling at times with living paycheck to paycheck after moving back from China — I want to see those dreams realised. A house, a family. Debt-free. I can’t sit around and get upset about things and “Wait for God’s timing” when there is a way and a clear path to seeing that be a reality. So I’m taking this job based partly on money, and whether that’s right or wrong that’s what it is.

3. Insurance. I don’t want to get into all of my opinions of social healthcare systems and insurance here, cause that’s sort of a boring rant but the long and short of it is: It’s impossible to live in the States without insurance. I needed parasite medicine when I first got back and even seeing the doctor was $80 dollars. Before my prescription! A medicine that I could buy over the counter in China for 2 RMB. And then I had what I think was strep throat around Christmas. I don’t know if its that or not, because I couldn’t afford to go to the doctor. And Leslie said it was, so I just believed her because she’s a mom. All I needed was amoxicillan which I could buy OTC in China for about 10 RMB. I just suffered through my “Strep” (if indeed thats what it was). It’s really really hard. I just had some blood tests done after putting it off and putting it off and that one blood test was $400. I really cannot remember the last time I had a dentist appointment to get my teeth cleaned and I really really want to get that done. I think about it everyday when I am brushing my teeth.  I just can’t afford it here in the States. You get my point. I need medical and dental insurance. Also, when I start my homestudy I will need insurance then too. This job provides that. I had been praying for a job that provided it at a reasonable cost. I just had no idea the job would be in South Korea. 

4. Adventure and Once in a Lifetime Opportunity  I am the first to admit I am sort of a travel junkie. So…. a new country, a new language. Awesome. Count me in.  My friend Shelly is there right now and that is going to be really fun working with her. I know this is guanxi because I never would have heard of this job if not for her. A serious case of “right place, right time”.

Those four are the biggest reasons I can think of right now but there are plenty more I am sure. So when I answer… WHY NOT?! that is what I am talking about.

Until next time,



About CRIL

Here I am in an attempt to find healing, hope, truth, pain, beauty... here I stand with my arms open wide... I'm not settling for what I am... instead I am searching for what I am meant to become when all that is reflected through me is Him and His Glory... I am confident that the path He has set before me is both sorrow *and* joy... it is not up to me to determine which is which... (written by me when I was an undergrad... still true today)

One response »

  1. I love love love that you follow your heart and do what you know you need to do. As far as I’m concerned, you don’t need to state your reasons at all, although all of them are practical and make sense to me.

    My one request, however, is that you take lots of pictures of the island for me, ‘cuz the pics I saw of it online, it looked beautiful! 🙂

    Love you!

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